| I wont stay even if you ask me to |
[06 Oct 2005|09:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 complacent |
] |
Ok ... so its been two weeks
and I'm perfectly fine.
is that normal?
I've been catching up with people.
Christian
Kyle
Kevin.
Cyn
Jose
and there still more
ppl that I
want to see
hang out with.
^_^
So the My Chem concert
rocked!
I am so glad I went!
I met Mikey WAY!
AH!
He is ADORABLE!
So sweet
and so shy.
^_^
*thinks so self*
I need new icons.
actually I need a new
lj.
I seriously need to retire this one.
put I'll post pictures soon.
they're on my myspace
ignore the url
♥
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[28 Sep 2005|11:51am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 I want to die |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Ponytail Parades - Emery |
] |
SO incase everyone doesnt know.
Me and Jeremy are not going to get married
we are not going to have a family
we are not together.
he broke up with me about a week ago
and I am still hurting.
but what can I do?
I feel helpless and hopeless.
I want to cry
but i can't anymore
i can't eat
I've lost close to 11 pounds
in 6 days ...
all i want to do is sleep
but in the middle of the night
i get up and drive until morning.
its really putting a dent in my pocket because
of stupid gas.
what hurts the most is that
he said that he wanted to be there
for EMMA
if it was just me and him
I would be ok
but ... its not
emma was involved in this too
i felt like a family.
he has me all confused.
I would explain more
but I just cant right now
I'm a mess
confused
lost
emotional.
Today is the MCR show
and I am going to have a GREAT
time.
I can't wait to see the guys.
... I dont know what to do.
I am lost ...
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| Happy Birthday Mikey!! |
[10 Sep 2005|03:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
Today is Michael James Way's 25th Birthday everyone go HERE and wish him a happy birthday!!!
or HERE
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| so sad and lonely |
[03 Sep 2005|01:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Mae |
] |
I miss Jeremy a lot. And it's only been a week since he's been gone.
I'm listening to Mae right now. God this Album isn't helping either.
and it's Jeremy's Copy too. I have to send this back to him.
My arm hurts *a bit random*
I can't wait to see him again.
I hate being so far away from him.
Emma is singing her abc's and she's chewing on her Jack Skellington Doll
and now she's asking for Jeremy.
(there is a picture of us on the desk computer)
she's so adorable with him
god they are both cute together.
the last day that jeremy was here i was in the computer room
and i hear her and jeremy laughing and she's
laughing so hard and i can hear them playing
and just thinking about that makes me so
happy. That he loves her
and that she loves him.
*tears* wow i really miss him.
I wish he didnt have to be so far away.
but its like when he comes back
its like i see him for the first time all over again
and i remember the first time i saw him too.
AH! ok ... well
enough of this i guess.
<3
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[29 Aug 2005|01:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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thank you for this venom - MCR |
] |
Set 1
List 3 things that bug you--things that others may find trivial
1) Tags sticking out of shirts or any clothing
2) black lipstick
3) pop punk
Set 2
List 3 things that make chocolate even better
1) peanut butter
2) caramel
3) toffee
Set 3
List 3 things you'd rather be doing than playing a game of LJ tag
1) sleep
2) sleep
3) sleep
Tag your it!
who ever else that hasnt been tagged ^_^
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| happy happy happy |
[28 Aug 2005|12:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
ecstatic |
] |
Jeremy and I are engaged! ^_^
he proposed Friday.
AHHHH!
I am so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!
^_^
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| wtf |
[13 Aug 2005|08:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bitchy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
when I remember - Blindside |
] |
so last night some girl calls me at 2:30 in the morning telling me that jeremy is cheating on me and that she is pregnant with his kid.
wtf.
I'm like sitting there listening to her bull shit and I'm like ... ok.
but Jeremy is not cheating on me.
(I talked to him about it)
and when he comes down in 6 days!!! I'll talk to him about it and we're going to call that bitch back.
ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on another note.
I bought MCR tickets to the SOMA show and they havent even gone on sale yet! I love having connections!
They're fucking awesome guys too!
I can't wait to see mikey!!!!!!!!!!!
MCR
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[07 Aug 2005|02:46pm] |
Blindside was awesome!!!!!!!!!!
I touched christian! he touched my hand. asked if we were ok in the front. my ribs are bruised i got all nasty and sweaty. met some cool people.
it was the greatest show EVER!
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[30 Jul 2005|11:44am] |
so in a few hours ... I will be leaving for pomona.
blindside is playing.
i am not excited at all.
in fact i'm actually dreding it.
but ... oh i dont know.
i was so excited before and now i'm not.
this sucks.
i dont even know what i am going to wear.
i feel hideous today.
i'm such a loser.
and i hate making mistakes
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| one more month |
[20 Jul 2005|12:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
I'm going to see CATCF again for the third time. ^_^ this time with Emma. I hope she enjoys.
♥
Exactly one month until Jeremy comes!!!
::jumps up and down:: I'm EXCITED
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| Mikey Way |
[19 Jul 2005|08:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Soundtrack |
] |
I need to stop obsessing over him and get on with my life.
I get the strangest feelings when I think of him.
as if something is going to happen.
or maybe its because He reminds me of Jeremy so much. ::shrugs::
I'm weird I know it.
"GOOD MORNING STARSHINE ... THE EARTH SAYS HELLO!!"
oh god i hope somebody knows where that is from.
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| feeling a little bit of doubt |
[16 Jul 2005|09:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Con Safo - The Mars Volta |
] |
I am feeling quite helpless right now.
I feel like I want to give up on the whole relatiopnship thing.
but i know this feeling will past.
I love him too much to let go.
Who am I kidding. it's not going to happen *go away*
damn. I'm way emo.
BLAH! I just want to get out of here.
I'm so fucking tired of everything
tv, people, "friends", "family", alcohol, cigarrettes, parents, co-workers, society, government, war, BGTHIOSIWSGHKEJSTOASRETHUOREHTUOHEAFO{IEAJOUI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My phone is off. i bet jeremy is trying to get a hold of me. and i really dont care right now.
I just want to cry and listen to The Postal Service, then The Good Life, then Cursive, then My Chemical Romance, then Mars Volta, (all t hese bands remind me of jeremy. Mainly My Chemical Romance and the good life.) I want to just let go for ten minutes and not have to deal with all this bull shit that i have on my shoulders.
I really need someone to talk to.
I really need to stop being by myself right now.
UGH! I need someone or something new.
and I will not resort to drugs or drinking or smoking.
.end.</3
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| CATCF |
[15 Jul 2005|01:57am] |
i am going to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the first showing at the Imax theatre in Ontario. I am excited! and I cant wait!
I'm off to bed now.
night.
also i'm going to be a loser and wear my CATCF shirt.
i know LOSER! ^_^
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| Ok I need everyones help |
[14 Jul 2005|01:37pm] |
My mother REFUSES that I move at the end/beginning of this/next year. she is telling my family that it's not going to happen.
she talks to me as if my head is in the clouds.
its not.
I'm totally grounded.
I am INLOVE with Jeremy.
Jeremy LOVES emma and Me.
His family supports us. Why doesnt mine.
my aunt made the comment that I'm going to make more babies in idaho to my cousin. my cousins grandmother also told her that she's going to end up like me.
HOW FUCKED UP is THAT!
It really hurt my feelings ... so my family acting like this is really making me not want to be around them anymore. I am glad that I am working so I dont have to deal with their fake attitudes and then talk shit behind my back.
Why can't they understand that Jeremy and I love eachother very much,
ok yea he doesnt talk much but why is that such a problem i mean they've made is such a big DEAL!! even a couple of my friends ... well like Tim and Liegha made a big deal that he doesnt talk. He does talk ... but just not around new ppl. so he is coming down the last week of august.
and we are going to prove my parents wrong.
but ... do you think my mother is out of line saying that emma and i moving is not going to happen??
I'm not doing this just for me. I'm doing it for emma too!!!
and we have everything planned out.
I'm going to go to school here for a semester transfer to the college out there.
and I'm also going to find a daycare for Emma. until things are settled then she'll be going to school. and enrolling her into preschool at 3 will be a good thing too so she can start early.
so what should I do. to make my parents realize that no matter what I am leaving in 6 months.
.Sara.
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| i'm feeling a bit helpless |
[08 Jul 2005|02:08pm] |
I'm having mixed feelings about college. I know that I am going to go. but the thing is that Jeremy and I want to get married at the end of this year or the beginning of next. and i dont know if i should go to rcc in the fall or wait and go to the community college in idaho.
someone help me please!
I really dont know what to do right now.
<3
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[08 Jul 2005|11:24am] |
so this guy keeps on calling me. and i dont know what his intentions are. I need to ask. but its kind of getting annoying. I have Jeremy. and I dont think he knows that. I just met him. he seems cool. but hes an old guy. well an older guy i think hes like .. 30 or 40 ::shrugs:: i am not interested though. so i havent been answering my phone when he calls. but if he calls at work I'll have someone answer it acting as if they're jeremy. I think he just wants to hang out. I'm cool with that. but I dont drink and I dont smoke and I dont approve of their life style. and just because I'm of legal age doesnt mean that its still not ... creepy. ::shudders:: I need to leave for idaho now. ^_^
just one more month!!!!!!!!!!
<3
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| the beach |
[07 Jul 2005|01:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
so the beach was a lot of fun. way better than warped tour. I was so ready to go to warped tour yesterday just incase matthew had something else to do. but ... he did want to go to the beach and I was glad. going to the beach helped me a lot. smelling the salt water feeling the sand between my toes ... getting hit by the waves!! I havent gone out in the ocean since ... the summer before i was pregnant with emma.
but here are some pictures of our lovely trip ^_^
( torrey pines )
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[06 Jul 2005|07:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 just there ... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Queens of the stone age - little sister |
] |
Hello.
sorry for being such a downer.
I'm fine now ..
"i'm ok ... i'm o ...KAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ^_^
I was talking to Christian and because i had a horrible time he is taking me to three mcr shows on their next tour. what a sweet heart!
Had a crazy dream about Mikey.
::shakes head:: i dont like it very much. neither does jer.
I miss him btw
hopefully today me and matthew go to the beach. i need to get out of moval for a while. and if he cant ... then i guess i am going by myself.
Watching MCR still makes me feel .... WEIRD.
its like watching someone i know ... for some odd reason.
::shrugs::
its like the weirdness i get when i see the matches on TV cause its like ... i met them ... (when i didnt even know who they were at the time.) but i like their music.
thanks cyn ^_^
but I think I'm going to disappear for a while again ... just to get my head clear ...
i dont know of what yet ... but we'll see. maybe after this whole warped tour thing blows over.
(obviously I'm still bothered by it.) oh well.
I love you all.
I'll be back in a few days.
♥
.end.
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| i hate warped tour |
[01 Jul 2005|12:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed, angry, & apathetic |
] |
i dont really know what to say is that yesterday was the worst experience ever.
i really want to cry right now.
and me thinking about jeremy isnt helping either. I'm going crazy in my mind. and i dont know how to deal with it. this was a bad idea.
I'm not regreting it ... but ... I wish Jeremy was here, instead of Idaho.
I need to go listen to some angry ANGRY music right now.
some one please kill me. Now.
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[29 Jun 2005|01:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
honey the mirror isn't big enough for the both of us - MCR |
] |
S;KJHSJKHBGHJE RYHWI111!!!!!!!!!!!!!HIJDHGUIREGHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OIGHHSAGIWHAGUIHUIWHWTWHIOG (MIND YOU I'M FREAKING OUT HERE.) JHGJKHBJKEGHUIWGHEUGHEHB!!!!!!LHGJKSHJKSHRGK@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JLAHBVAJKEHGIHJKGJKSZRGJKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OIJZGBKHRGUIEHRGJKGHRJK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JLLSAGJKLJJKSGNTJOK!!!!!!!(STILL FREAKING OUT!!)
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
TOMORROW!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so excited.
man if I'm excited about them ... and they are my SECOND favorite band ... how am i going to be when it comes to BLINDSIDE ...
and then when I see Jeremy. Oh I know I'm going to HUG and KISS the heck out of him. and not to mention cry my eyes out.
*sighs*
we will make up for lost time
::winks::
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